Paparazzi caught Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo naked in the Bahamas. The pictures can be seen in the newest issue of Life and Style magazine. On top of the already published nude photos there are apparently even more that have yet to surface. The new ones are said to be even more graphic and supposedly Lachey is trying to buy the pics before they go public. Obviously Nick and Vanessa are quite upset about the whole thing. At least people wont be talking about those racy photos of Vanessa and Lindsay Lohan with the knives anymore!

Desperate Housewives Eva Longoria and San Antonio Spurs Tony Parker plan to tie the knot on July 7th in Paris and the battle for exclusive rights to the photos of the big day is finally over. OK! Magazine will get to snap the shots but it’s costing them over $2 million. People Magazine has been trying hard to win the rights to these wedding photos and apparantly they are very upset they lost the fight. In the end it seemed to come down to whoever would pay more and OK! was willing to pay a lot. Do people really care about these two that much? For $2 million I sure hope OK! gets lots of amazing pictures!

On Friday morning police came to Paris Hilton’s home and escorted her to court. The disheveled and crying 26-year-old was without make-up and looked miserable. I guess she thought she was in the clear after being released but Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer was not going to stand for her early freedom from jail. He appeared unmoved by the pleas of Hilton’s three lawyers and he claimed that she never should have been let out in the first place. She was then sentenced to return to jail for the remainder of her 45 day sentence. The judge said that whatever “medical condition” her lawyers are claiming her to have can be dealt with at the jail medical facility. Too bad Paris! Your not getting out of this one!

Apparantly celebrities can come and go from jail as they please these days! Paris Hilton was released from jail early this morning after just starting to serve her time this past Sunday. Authorities decided to release Paris early due to “medical reasons” and instead of doing her time in jail she will be on house arrest for the next 40 days. Why does she get that option? People get sick in jail all the time and they dont get to leave. Obviously Paris just couldn’t cut it in the slammer! Now that she’s out Paris has to wear an electronic monitoring device. Knowing her she’ll probably try and turn that thing into some kind of fashion statement!

Ironically enough Joe Francis, who has been serving time at the Washoe County Detention Center in Reno is voluntarily staying in jail when he’s been given the option to leave on bail. He must really love being locked up! Since when is jail a free-for-all that gives inmates the option to choose their coming and going? I guess being famous really helps. I knew Paris wouldn’t last in jail but why would Joe want to stay longer than he has to?

Just after 11:30 pm last night Paris Hilton turned herself into the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California. Earlier in the night Hilton made an appearance at the MTV Movie Awards where she was the butt of many jokes! She had to expect that though right? Why would she want to spend her last few hours of freedom being made fun of? Obviously because she NEVER misses an opportunity to get her picture taken. Too bad for the next 23 days will be spent by Paris alone in a 12 by 8 foot cell only leaving for an hour a day to shower, watch TV or talk on the phone. Obviously she’ll be getting special treatment by being given her own cell. Too bad she wont get a cellmate like Martha Stewart’s who made her a pancho.

Nicole Richie sent out an outrageous email on May 24th inviting friends to a Memorial Day bash.

From: Nicole Richie

To: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Subject: Masha and Nicole’s Memorial Day Party Date: Thu 24 Ma 2007 04:29:29 +0000

My fellow Americans its that time of year To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer Let’s stand together as one, live the American dream Take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!

Mashas House
Sunday May 28th, at 2pm
XXXXX Crest Court
Beverly Hills, Ca 90210

There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!

Please make sure to RSVP as this is a large party and we need to keep track of who’s coming. Thanks

Nicole’s publicist claims she was just trying to be funny in the email but no one seems to be finding it funny at all. Nicole is way too skinny herself to be making jokes like that. Coming from someone who looks like she could collapse at any moment her comments were definitly not ok.

Lindsay Lohan crashed her car at 5:30 am this morning. She was busted by police and charged with DUI. Not only that but the LAPD is now revealing that cocaine was found in the party girl’s car. LiLo is in for some serious trouble now that she will face felony charges for the illegal narcotics found in the car on top of the drunk driving dilemma. Can’t Lindsay afford a driver? The consequences of this out of control party girl’s bad decisions seem to be even worse than just with the law. Svedka Vodka has now pulled out of their deal to sponser Lohan’s 21st birthday party planned for July 2-3 at Caesers Palace in Las Vegas. Isn’t she supposed to be in AA? Why is a Vodka company sponsoring her birthday anyway?

Who knew Wet’n Wild waterpark hires a bunch of Nazi security guards!!??

I flew down to Orlando to meet up with my friends for the day and we went to the waterpark for some sun and fun.  As we were lounging by the wave pool enjoying our 4th or 5th beer (who’s counting), a team of security came over and started interrogating us.  And since we didn’t have our ID’s on us (who carries their ID to go in the pool??), they started making comments like “We are going to charge you with underage drinking.” and “You have to come and stay in the office with us.”

I said “I don’t have to go anywhere, you don’t have any authority to detain me. I repute that charge!” And the Nazi head of Security was like “Repute? I’m glad you know that word.” and I’m like flipping out at this point.  I said “I graduated from Carnegie Mellon, I know more words than that! That’s why I’m not working at a waterpark!”

lol yea, insulting the head of security didn’t get us anywhere.  So I got kicked out of Wet’n Wild – after I already got sun-burnt Not Hot at all!

This is one of those awful stories that you can’t help but secretly laugh about. So there’s this guy from Florida named Michael Wiley, who led police on a wild 8-minute high speed chase in his Ford Explorer last week, at which point, the police called off the chase for fear of putting others in danger on the road. He was arrested the next day.

Now this seems like a pretty normal story until you find out the guy is a TRIPLE-AMPUTEE!! That means he has NO ARMS and only ONE LEG!! More amazingly, this wasn’t the first time he’s in trouble with the law. In 1998, he led police on a 120 mph high speed chase, and in 1996, he was sent to prison for KICKING a Florida Highway Patrol trooper!! I mean how does he even do it!?? He has only one leg for god’s sake!!

Here’s the man himself, the meanest guy that ever hopped on this earth, the Wild Bill of handicapped men…

Paris Hilton got pulled over in February for speeding with no lights on. Now normally that wouldn’t be too big of a deal except in January she signed a document acknowledging she was not allowed to drive, because her license has been suspended back in September for drunk driving so she’s on 3-years probation!

This time the LA court has sentenced her to 45 days in jail starting June 5th. Now she’s really screwed (quite literally lol).

My advice would be to turn lemons into lemonade. Maybe she can get into making lesbian porn, since she’ll have 45 days to learn and practice. lol